Why Emotional Healing?
We all have protective emotional systems that develop unconsciously when we are young. Do you ever feel stuck, or defensive, or self-critical? These feelings come from parts of your inner protective system. These systems try to protect us from being hurt again. Sometimes if they can’t protect us from hurt they just distract us so we don’t remember to feel upset (until the distraction has worn off, that is!).
These inner protectors can cramp our inner style. . Sometimes we can’t make changes in our lives, we can’t speak up for ourselves, or we can’t trust people, for fear of being hurt as we were in the past. Other times we distract ourselves with food, or tv, or work, or substance abuse so we don’t pay attention to triggered inner parts. All of these factors can cause difficulties at work, in relationships, and even difficulties with health issues.
For example, I’ve been avoiding working on my website for a several weeks. Even after I thought I was ready, I had to painfully turn off the tv to start writing on this website. There are several issues involved for me. For one thing, I have parts that are scared that the website has to be perfect or I’m not going to be ok! I also have parts that are worried I will sound ditzy or even crazy if I start telling people about my inner confusion.
I had to take time to listen to those concerns and reassure those parts that perfection is impossible, and I won’t sound crazy. To reassure them, I am going to write things now and publish later so I can evaluate better what I want to do. And I will publish data that shows these concepts aren’t just my ravings, but are actually a part of an evidence-based intervention approved by the American Psychological Association.
These are strategies that help my inner system feel calm and reassured. I learned these strategies in Inner Family Systems (IFS) training over the last 10 years. Briefly, IFS is a way of understanding how our inner defense system works, and then healing the hurt parts within that system. You can find out more about IFS at the Center for Self Leadership site here.
I encourage you to think about what things trigger your protective system, and how you can reassure those parts that you are being a good inner manager. To learn more about how to do this, read on or contact me.
These inner protectors can cramp our inner style. . Sometimes we can’t make changes in our lives, we can’t speak up for ourselves, or we can’t trust people, for fear of being hurt as we were in the past. Other times we distract ourselves with food, or tv, or work, or substance abuse so we don’t pay attention to triggered inner parts. All of these factors can cause difficulties at work, in relationships, and even difficulties with health issues.
For example, I’ve been avoiding working on my website for a several weeks. Even after I thought I was ready, I had to painfully turn off the tv to start writing on this website. There are several issues involved for me. For one thing, I have parts that are scared that the website has to be perfect or I’m not going to be ok! I also have parts that are worried I will sound ditzy or even crazy if I start telling people about my inner confusion.
I had to take time to listen to those concerns and reassure those parts that perfection is impossible, and I won’t sound crazy. To reassure them, I am going to write things now and publish later so I can evaluate better what I want to do. And I will publish data that shows these concepts aren’t just my ravings, but are actually a part of an evidence-based intervention approved by the American Psychological Association.
These are strategies that help my inner system feel calm and reassured. I learned these strategies in Inner Family Systems (IFS) training over the last 10 years. Briefly, IFS is a way of understanding how our inner defense system works, and then healing the hurt parts within that system. You can find out more about IFS at the Center for Self Leadership site here.
I encourage you to think about what things trigger your protective system, and how you can reassure those parts that you are being a good inner manager. To learn more about how to do this, read on or contact me.
Tools You Will Learn
IFS (Internal Family Systems) has developed tools I will teach you so you can work with your inner system.
The Goal: You will be able to deal with even tough challenges you didn’t think you could handle. And you won't be as stuck or afraid of change any more.
- Using Insight you will learn to dialogue directly with these protectors, finding out what they are afraid of and what painful memories they are trying to keep hidden..
- For the hurt inner child parts we use strategies like witnessing (viewing past difficult events from a Centered place)
- . Hurt parts often also need retrieval (helping those parts become more present),
- We can use unburdening to free ourselves from past trauma (once they’ve been witnessed, those wounded parts actually give up their emotional burdens and you become more whole and integrated).
The Goal: You will be able to deal with even tough challenges you didn’t think you could handle. And you won't be as stuck or afraid of change any more.
How Long Will It Take?
This process can happen as quickly as 1-3 sessions, or it may need a longer time. But each IFS session usually brings about some kind of healing and integration, allowing you to feel calmer and experience an inner compassion that is a new and different way of being.