Tips on What To Do If You're Feeling Stuck

by Karen Locke, EmotionalHealingCoach.org

Power Through  Insight


       Feeling stuck sucks! We may think of a possible action, but then we think of 10 reasons that it won’t work.  We intend to do something, but somehow there seem to be other things we need to do at that time.  We promise ourselves that “today will be different” but it turns out the same way.  

       Often these stuck times are a symptom of inner struggle. As seen in the movie  “Inside Out”, different parts of ourselves sometimes take control of our actions and thoughts. When an ambitious part is in control, then we can make big strides in our work (sometimes too big).  When a shy part is prevalent, we can barely speak to other people, let alone promote our business.    

       So it makes sense that when we are stuck there may be  inner parts that are at odds with each other, and therefore it’s hard to move in any one direction.  It’s like our feet want to go in different directions, so we fall on our face when we try to move.  Here are a few suggestions for finding the parts involved and helping to resolve the issue.

1. Give up taking action for a short period of time.  Focus on untangling the inner struggle so you can move ahead confidently.
   
   
2. Start by getting centered, whatever that means to you.  You might just go for a walk, or listen to relaxing music.  Take a bubble bath, light some candles.  Nature can be helpful.  Just find a way to get some inner peace before you begin- that helps all inner work.
   
   
3. Write, say, or even think about different feelings you have about the issue- as many as you can..   Is it exciting?  Terrifying?  Challenging?   Is part of you scared that it will work too well, and you will be overwhelmed?  (That happens to me sometimes).  .  Is a part afraid of failing? (also my issue)    Naming all the varied feelings will help bring the varied viewpoints out into the open, which is the only place they can be dealt with.
   
   
4. Find 2 main viewpoints that are conflicting and do more fleshing them out.  List (mentally, verbally or on paper) what one side’s viewpoint is- reasoning, feelings, facts, opinions.  Then list another side  You will find that, contrary to expectations, listing these viewpoints helps you feel stronger, not weaker.  When we hide from feelings we weaken ourselves, but listening inside and feeling our feelings helps us feel more grounded and confident
   
   
5. 5A.  Try being an inner mediator between the two sides. What would make both sides comfortable?  After looking at both viewpoints, what do they have in common? Start there.  Then, ask what compromises might work for their differences?  See if you can come up with a proposal that would satisfy both viewpoints.  Then try it out, and modify as needed.
   
   

               5B.  If mediation doesn’t go well, or if it seems like there are old difficult issues involved,  it might      be good to ask for help.  If there are emotional issues at the core of this disagreement (trauma, old hurts, etc), this might be an opportunity to work on those issues with a friend, emotional healing coach, or therapist.  Inner Family Systems practitioners are able to help people sort out these inner parts and actually heal old wounds.  


I wish you well on your journey.  Feel free to get in touch with questions or comments.      

Connect with Karen at http://emotionalhealingcoach.org,  or [email protected]

Find an IFS coach, practitioner or therapist at http://www.selfleadership.org/find-an-ifs-therapist.html