Watch Karen's Self-Therapy Demo
I've made a demo of myself doing a self-therapy session. You can click on this link to watch it. Note- this is not a very "deep " session. I promised my parts that I wouldn't do anything with too much emotional baggage, because it would have been difficult to coordinate with putting on the computer, and my system isn't that into sharing deep feelings. Maybe in the future I'll do that also.
I hope this is helpful for understanding the process and what is possible on one's own. Enjoy!
I hope this is helpful for understanding the process and what is possible on one's own. Enjoy!
One of the things I do as a coach is teach people how to do Self-therapy sessions on their own. In other models the therapist is so key that one wouldn't try to do work on one's own. But in IFS, we recognize that everyone has a Self, which could be considered an "inner therapist", that can learn to work with one's own wounded parts.
Self-therapy, as I do it, consists of these main parts:
1. Centering- we want to have as much Self energy available as possible
2. Finding a part that is distressed and needs work
3. Fleshing out that part- what is it like? What is its role if it has one? What is it afraid would happen if it didn't do this job?
4. Asking myself how I feel toward that part, and if it's not curiosity and compassion I work with parts that are resisting until I find a way to feel curiosity and compassion
5. Witnessing what that part has to share
6. If that part is a protector, ask if it's ok to help the part (exile) it is protecting. Then go through the same steps with that part.
7. Mentally go back into a memory of that part's choosing, if appropriate, and help the part in a way it needed at the time
8. When the part is ready, bringing it out of that past time and into a safe place
9. Helping the part let go of old feelings and wounds
10. Helping the part gather capacities and qualities it wants to have for its new future
11. Checking with that part and other parts about what they need now and for the next few days/weeks.
Self-therapy, as I do it, consists of these main parts:
1. Centering- we want to have as much Self energy available as possible
2. Finding a part that is distressed and needs work
3. Fleshing out that part- what is it like? What is its role if it has one? What is it afraid would happen if it didn't do this job?
4. Asking myself how I feel toward that part, and if it's not curiosity and compassion I work with parts that are resisting until I find a way to feel curiosity and compassion
5. Witnessing what that part has to share
6. If that part is a protector, ask if it's ok to help the part (exile) it is protecting. Then go through the same steps with that part.
7. Mentally go back into a memory of that part's choosing, if appropriate, and help the part in a way it needed at the time
8. When the part is ready, bringing it out of that past time and into a safe place
9. Helping the part let go of old feelings and wounds
10. Helping the part gather capacities and qualities it wants to have for its new future
11. Checking with that part and other parts about what they need now and for the next few days/weeks.