If we think about it, events can be stressful in themselves, but they are often made worse by what we tell ourselves, what we hear in our head. If you’re like me you can go from the boss saying “Can you please fix that report?” to thinking to myself “I’m such an idiot! Why did I make that stupid mistake? Now I’m going to get fired!” in very quick succession.
Coaching with IFS can help you sort out your inner parts, understanding why you are thinking these things and heal the old wounds so you’re not adding to your own stress any more.
Inner Critics
Did you know there are 7 types of inner critics? Here are some examples of how they might affect you. The perfectionist part is afraid of criticism and sometimes won’t even let you begin a project for fear it won’t turn out perfectly. The underminer part is afraid of failing, so it attacks your self-esteem so you won’t take risks and be embarrassed. The inner controller tries to rein in your tendency to overindulge in food, drink, sexual activity, etc. by harshly shaming you so you will fit into society.
Coaching with IFS can help you understand these parts and heal the wounds they are trying to cover up, thereby reducing the need for the critics to do their harmful tasks.
Worrying and anxiety Your inner parts feel responsible for making decisions and keeping you safe because they believe you are still stuck in childhood. That’s why you sometimes feel like a little kid when talking to a boss or taking steps to improve your life. We all have parts inside that think things like “this is too hard for me”, or “I can’t speak to that group because they’ll laugh at me”. Coaching with IFS can help you learn new inner management skills so these child-parts realize you are an adult and can actually take care of your own needs. Once you’ve healed the inner wounded parts, it becomes much easier to be confident and take powerful actions in your world.