Breaking Up Without Breaking Down

Helping All Your Inner Parts Eases the Pain

About 2 months ago I had a breakup of a long relationship (14-20 years, depending on how you count).  I've had one other breakup in my life so I thought I knew what I was in for.  But it turns out that inner parts work greatly helped my ability to cope this time around.

The first thing I did differently was realize how shocked and sad I was.  Last time I went quickly into denial, not realizing how my inner parts were feeling.  This time I felt the physical sensations (like being hit in my solar plexus) and deep sadness and anger.  

The next change I saw was that over several days I realized and stated what I needed.  Last time I kept up a facade for quite a while, maintaining that I didn't really need any help or support.  I thought I could do it all myself (and I was very wrong).

Over the last two months I've had many different parts come up, but I have a strong center Self that can help each of them.  Parts of me have felt very sad,  deeply angry, and desperately scared.  But I have been able to help each of these parts as it came up, doing self-healing sessions as well as sessions with other people's assistance.  I haven't panicked about feeling panic!  I realize it is just a part of me, and the feeling is natural, and I can help the part.  I've had amazing healing experiences over the last 2 months, and I'm grateful to IFS for helping me gain the tools to do this work.

I've also allowed other parts to express- parts that are excited about having my own place, parts that want to date again, parts that love making fires in the fireplace or going to movies alone- just finding out what I REALLY enjoy again.  

If you or someone you know has gone through an experience like this, I hope you can listen to all the parts of yourself.  If you need help doing that, feel free to contact me.  You can help your parts heal and find joy again.  

Best wishes on your journey!