Softening Our Hearts Without Weakening Our Will

I’ve become uncomfortable with the level of vitriol against Donald Trump and his followers.  I have enjoyed some of it, cringed at some.  So I looked inside to find out what I truly thought and felt, and what I might do about that.

I realized that I have some very scared parts- scared for myself and others, scared that the environment, minorities, and women will be preyed upon by unscrupulous people.  Scared that my country is being taken over by people who seem to believe the exact opposite of what I believe.  Scared that I shouldn’t be just sitting around and letting them do it- that somehow I should be trying again and again to stop it.  These are the parts that tend to just turn off the radio or tv whenever the words “President-Elect Trump” come on.  These parts want to hide until it’s safe, whenever that will be.
 
I also have parts that feel helpless.  What can one person (me) do against so many, many people and organizations and belief systems?  These are the parts that enjoy the name-calling, lack of celebrities for the inauguration, and blasting of Trump and his supporters from all kinds of thought leaders, famous people,  and comedians.  My helpless parts like seeing other people fearlessly say angry things and be applauded for it.

However, I also have parts that seek empathy for all people and all parts of people.  They see how wounded Trump is feeling from the comedy skits and rebukes from others.  They imagine how I would feel if that happened to me, and are sad.  These parts cause me to turn off the comedy shows and think about writing something in his defense.  (However, those other scared parts definitely don’t want to defend Trump- I might get rejected by people on “my side”.  And the helpless parts will NOT defend him because...that’s crazy!).  

And also, there are parts that know about how to get one’s way.  It isn’t by making fun of powerful people and creating a standoff.  It is by finding commonalities if possible.  And by standing one’s ground firmly but fairly, if commonalities can’t be found.  
After listening to all these parts I looked inside for any wisdom I might find.  What would be the wisest way to make my parts and my Self happy?  And express something that would be helpful in this situation?

I realized that people have built up inner defenses for generations.  White slave owners found ways to not think of slaves as people.  Slaves found ways to not let their rebellious parts lash out and get them killed.  Rich people found ways not to see the worth of poor people.  Poor people found ways to live with their circumstances.  We all “find ways” to defend our beliefs and those of our family and culture.  

I studied Psychosynthesis, and they talked about the Will.  In Psychosynthesis this is the capacity that allows you to direct your consciousness toward whatever you choose.  “The will has a directive and regulatory function; it balances and constructively all the other activities and energies of the human being without repressing any of them.” (Assagioli, “The Act of Will”, 1973.)
 
I realized perhaps this could be a helpful concept.  I can find ways to understand and empathize other people (my heart), even those whose beliefs I don’t agree with.  But I can still use my Will to stand up for my own beliefs, acting on them when it appropriate, holding on to them always unless I, of my own conscious volition, change them.  
 
I think we’ve had enough of people tamping down their empathy, “finding ways” of not seeing others as worthy of  understanding and merit.  I want to understand all others, even those I’m scared of or angry at.
 
At the same time, I will join with others to defend the gains we’ve made in human rights and the environment.  Whenever possible I will work with both sides to make progress in these areas.  And when it isn’t possible I will treat all sides with dignity and respect.  I expect the same will be done for me, and if it’s not I will continue anyway.  
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Soft hearted and strong willed- I seek to make a difference in the world by sticking to these principles.  I invite you to join me.  Together we CAN!  :)