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Karen Locke, MA

Meeting Life's Challenges Through Working With Your Parts

Easing the pain, increasing the joy, making all your moments easier and more enjoyable

Reflections on the Election

11/12/2016

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This morning I was again panicking about the election, specifically what I needed to do or say or write about it.  What can we do now?  I felt hopeless.  So I meditated and then wrote.  I’ve always liked the story about the blind men describing the elephant- they could only describe what they felt on their side.  So here’s what ideas came up for me.  I hope to add to the collective wisdom here.
     It seems to me that we are a wounded, delusional species.  From the first time a baby cried and wasn’t comforted, or a parent took out anger on a  child, or a parent taught their child to hate the neighboring village because they killed someone in their family, we have been wounded.  And we have learned from our parents what to do about that wound- be stronger and fight, please people so they won’t hurt us, gather riches and show how good and powerful we are.  We learn all this from our parents.  And recent research has shown that wounds are passed down to future generations, so they are in some ways in our DNA.
     There is also another aspect of our species- the inner wise Self.  As we heal those wounds we reconnect with our inner compassion, curiosity and calmness. I know there are many systems and ways to do inner healing so we can do this connecting.    The one I have experienced most is Inner Family Systems, but I believe there are others- bodywork, breathwork, others I don’t know about.  When this healing happens we can let go of our delusions, release the ways our parents taught us to think and behave.  We can begin to wake up.
     This election was a wake up call for me.  It made me face a lot of my delusions, such as that I live in a good (the best) country, that democracy will save us, and even that watching tv and eating a lot will drown my misery and guilt.  I realized that I, too, have bought into the middle class fantasy- take care of my family first, it’s ok to live in an expensive apartment even though there are homeless people in my city,  it’s ok to ignore injustice and intolerance as long as it doesn’t affect me and mine.
      As for what to do about all this woundedness/awakening/election of disaster stuff, what came to me is that there are a few components to waking ourselves and helping others.
  1. accept that it is a slow, painful process, and I need to feel my feelings.  When I notice a delusion (like living in relative wealth when others have so little) there is first fear- but I LIKE my lifestyle- I don’t want it to go away!  Then there is guilt- how could I have been so selfish?  A bunch of other feelings come up - sadness when I look around and really see what some people’s lives are like, anger that it hasn’t been fixed somehow, hopelessness that things have been this way forever and how can one person change them?  I’ve learned to allow and feel all the feelings.  It’s the feelings I won’t recognize that get stuck and put me back in denial (with my tv and ice cream).   
  2. Do emotional healing with the parts of me that hold old wounds about this.  I haven’t done this step yet, but I’m remembering my mother threatening to kick me out of the house into “the world out there”, talking about how difficult it is to make money and how horrible it would be to be poor.  I need to go through a process to release the burdens I took on in those situations and free myself up to feel more freedom, generosity and confidence.
  3. Once my inner parts feel safe, I can take inner and outer steps to undo any “wrongs” I have committed in the service of this delusion.  Inner steps include meditating for guidance, like I did this morning.  Outer steps include research and action.  I need to learn the real truth about people’s living conditions and find  ways I can be helpful with both money and time.  I haven’t done this research yet, but it might involve possibly moving to a cheaper place and donating part of the money I save, or else other things I could do like donating emotional healing services or volunteering somewhere.

What do I think about the election results now?  I think I need to remember these things:
-all people have  learned their beliefs and attitudes from their parents as well as the culture around them
-I still have faith in the innate goodness of people- ALL people
-the process that works best for me, so I know what steps to take next , involve wanting to wake from my delusions, inner meditation and reflection, and then research and action
-the way the country was operating was NOT as ok as it seemed
-I’m willing to share my process with others
-I have no idea what any other person should do.   I only know what works for me.

I hope we can all share what is helping us, because all of us need help now.  I’m sending this out in the hope that at least 1 person might benefit.

Sending love throughout the country and the world,
Karen Locke
1 Comment
Cristana Valentini link
6/23/2023 11:48:39 pm

Lovelly blog you have here

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    I  am an emotional healing coach, and also a certified  teacher.  In this blog I'll talk about emotional  challenges and how to survive them using Internal Family Systems concepts and skills..

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  • Emotional Healing
    • Evidence for IFS
    • Is Self Therapy possible?
    • Issues Coaching Helps With >
      • Inner Conflict
  • About Karen , Videos, Online Groups
    • Services
    • Online Support Groups and Facebook Groups
    • Videos
    • Recommendations
  • Daily Reflections Book, Substack, and contact